ᴇɪᴢᴇɴ ~ "uphill wrecks him" (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
emptyhand) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
beyondthedoor2017-03-11 03:22 am
emptyhand) wrote in beyondthedoor2017-03-11 03:22 am
☠ set me free, set me out on the run.
lift me up to the sun, to the sun.
[ Despite having resonance the likes of which hasn't been seen in decades, Sorey wasn't able to purify every hellion. Some people urged him not to give up. Others told him to accept the inevitable, that sometimes death is the only way. He isn't sure what tipped the scale in the end. All throughout his Shepherd's journey he saw just what refusing to kill people wrought. Rose took his pain on herself instead, becoming his blade so that he wouldn't have to shed a drop. But he also learned that death, sometimes, could be a mercy. Dezel had seemed... happier, when he went. Like something finally slid into place.
He certainly set foot on Rayfalke expecting to help carry out Zaveid's promise, but that isn't what happened. Edna bawled as they closed in on the dragon, and Mikleo looked at Sorey in that way, and then... Sorey asked for the gun. Siegfried. Unaware of the weapon's history but wanting to try every avenue available to him, he gently asked his seraphim if they wanted to break the bonds that kept Eizen shackled to his malevolence. So long as they weren't gravely injured, they could fly and they would survive. Dezel, who had bled out and broke his own pact, had not.
Zaveid-- no doubt understanding the similarities between his friends-- accepted the challenge. If a storied seraph like him could place his trust in Sorey, then by the Five Lords, he was going to find a way. And that's before considering the promise he'd made Edna when they first began.
The fight is long and arduous, made no easier by Eizen taking every opportunity to bathe the party in fire. Lailah goes first. She explodes in a brilliant display, like the stars themselves shattering overhead, and severs Eizen's ability to use wind artes. Mikleo touches Sorey's shoulder, assuring him that he will be fine, and he goes next. Eizen loses his fire breath and can only beat his wings and thrash as death closes in. Zaveid jumps in only after he's sure that Rose has been taken care of. He dances along the wind even as a spirit, engulfing his friend in a firm grip that keeps him grounded.
Sorey feels Edna's hesitation as they armatize. We're going to save him, he tells her. Only when she is ready, when she has steeled herself, does Sorey fire Siegfried that last time.
The dragon, great and black and spiked and terrible, roars so loudly that rocks collapse across the canyon. He was once Eizen, but he has forgotten. All he knows is teeth and flesh and he can't get enough, can't—
"You got me one, too?" He turns the pendant over and over in his hands, delicately, as if it might crumble beneath the slightest touch. For a malak like him, maybe that's true. He finds the snap and opens it, and a smile cracks his face in half like a sunbeam.
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. He is emptyemptyempty—
"Get up." His sister's voice is flat and unamused as she rudely jabs him with her foot. "Or are you going to sleep for another thousand years?"
—empty. Who is Eizen? Why do they keep saying that name? If only they would be quiet. If only he could gnash his teeth and taste the blood, the blood, the blood, the—
"It hasn't been a thousand years," he grumbles. As wakefulness returns to him, however, he sits up straight. "Oh, hell. I promised you I'd take you somewhere today, didn't I?"
As the dragon falls and begins to disintegrate, several colored orbs return to the exhausted Shepherd and his squire. But if the golden one stays a little longer, Sorey doesn't say anything. He just watches and hopes against hope that Edna will be okay. Bringing Eizen to the brink of death was all they had. If he dies... it'll be Sorey's fault. He isn't sure he can shoulder the life of someone who was so important. He isn't sure he can shoulder a life at all, but he might have to.
"I'm not gonna make it back." Eizen feels it sapping his strength, washing over him like so many waves. He never was very good at swimming.
His wings are torn, bloodied. Everything tastes like ash.
"Like hell you're not gonna make it! Eizen!"
It burns. It burns, and he doesn't know why. It burns until abruptly it doesn't burn at all.
* * *
"... She's like an early blooming flower."
Eizen doesn't awaken for days, and no one can blame him. Partially because there's no one to blame him. The fight itself was horrendous, but the amount of energy expended made Sorey bedridden, too. Rose has managed to take care of all of them, making camp and amusing herself until the Shepherd regains consciousness.
It's decided that the group needs some time off. Sorey certainly needs to think about what they need to do next. Their fight with Heldalf is looking much less terrifying now that they've taken down a dragon, and yet -- well, whatever, it can wait. Sorey certainly isn't going to attempt anything without Edna, and he is definitely going to give her and Zaveid the time they sorely need after that episode.
So it goes, and Rayfalke is quiet once again.
Eizen's eyes flutter open for the first time in a few hundred years and he shudders, thinking this is some cruel dream. Same Rayfalke mountains rising around him, same blue sky. He can feel his sister nearby.]
What— [— aaaaand coughing. Some dream this is.]
no subject
and with that came the thought: what a waste her journey turned out to be.
for almost a millennia she'd fooled herself that she could - somehow, anyhow, find a way to save him. she was not as well-traveled as he was, and for so long her world was limited to the jaggedness and sharp rocks that made up rayfalke - surely somewhere outside its confines lay the answer to her quest. traveling with sorey had made her hope that they would find it; witnessing how this gentle shepherd offered his very life to this mission, and how the other seraphim supported him, made her believe that, perhaps, just perhaps, this ragtag of oddballs could very well could.
and yet, in her travels also sprung a grim alternative to what she sought. what if they couldn't?
zaveid's appearance and belief - sometimes the only way to save is to kill - seemed like a nail to the coffin that was eizen's fate.
and she'd accepted it. she'd accepted it, because sometimes fighting to save her brother was like fighting the inevitable and it's just, it's so tiring, even if she hates the mere thought of acknowledging it.
and yet--
and yet--
she sits now beside her brother, her parasol open under the dying glares of the afternoon sun. she stiffens at the sound of his voice. for so long she'd thought she'd never hear it again, and she realizes that she'd been imagining it a bit differently. there's so many things she'd thought of telling him, and now that she has an opportunity, her mind, funnily enough, seems to shrink from such a task. ]
You were sleeping wrong. No wonder you inhaled all that dust.
[ good afternoon, eizen. ]
no subject
His first thought is that he's dead, thank the Five Lords, and he can finally rest... but is there an afterlife for seraphim, really? He didn't think there was. He thought he'd rejoin the earth, become the trees, the grass, the dirt supporting his sister as she lives her life.
But now he's here, practically eating that same dirt.
It doesn't seem real, and he's still in disbelief even as Edna gives him a classic Edna answer. He groans and shifts, eyes squinting against the light. Even with her parasol casting a shadow, it's still so bright.]
I'm sorry, [he murmurs, and it's completely honest.] I couldn't stay me. Couldn't stay alive.
[Yeah, he's sure he's dead now.]
... You deserve a better brother.
no subject
there's a discernible jerk to her movements as she turns to look at her brother. deserve a better one? was it meant to be a joke of the filthiest kind? ]
Do I? [ what an absurd notion. ] Does it mean it's your fault that when you came back to me, you're already a dragon?
[ there's a hitch to her voice somewhere in her words. don't be dumb, she wants to say, and she would've had she been speaking to mikleo or sorey. you idiot, she would've added for good measure, had she been addressing zaveid. but this is eizen and it's her brother and she loves him more than life and earth itself-- ]
Don't be stupid, Eizen. I know why you've changed. I've seen it happen. I know it's not something you can control. If it was--
[ you would have chosen to remain yourself. ]
one day i'll be able to tag regularly, fuck meds tbh
He sucks in a breath and almost, almost huffs a laugh. It's so dumb. This must be some kind of hallucination, and it's rude that it seems so damn real. As if he might be saved by a good talking-to.]
Still, I failed you. And now I've-- [Lords, he wishes he was dead.] -- left you to clean up my mess. That's not what I wanted for you.
[That's why he made Zaveid promise.]
I was so stupid. I should've taken you with me instead of making excuses and not coming home. Things would've been different, and scary, and probably dangerous. But we would've both been happy.
[He opens his eyes again, tilts his head to look over at her. His expression is painfully open, at least for a moment, and then he looks away again.]
... I'm sorry I never told you that.
not a problem! take your time
eizen wouldn't have wanted that. eizen wouldn't have wanted that, even as her own voice couldn't reach him anymore - brother no, stop, please, please stop they don't mean you any harm-- ]
Isn't that what little sisters are for? [ she is that again, isn't she? a little sister. eizen's little sister. they got him back, she got him back and that's all that matters. and, as if to assure herself that she did, edna would move forward to encircle his wrist with her own hand. i got you back.
and now he's voicing out her thoughts and she can't help but nod and grip his wrist more firmly in agreement. she meets his eyes and when he looks away she wants to turn his face towards her - but she doesn't. ] Yes, you were. I probably wouldn't have liked the waters much but-- [ i would've been with you. ] I would have met all those people you wrote to me about. [ but that would've meant she wouldn't meet sorey and the others, and for a selfish moment, she thinks she could live with that. ] I would've been a damn good pirate. Maybe even better than you, come to think of it.
[ she wouldn't have sat there in rayfalke, all alone, waiting for some letter or any sign that her brother is alive and well and sailing the seas like the pirate he is. does eizen know how lonely she'd been? she would've been happy, had she been with him. ]
no subject
You would've made the best pirate. [He looks at her and actually smiles this time. The corners of his tired eyes crinkle.] You could still be one, if you wanted. The Van Eltia's gone but there's always a need for sea dogs. [Edna doesn't look like a sea dog.] Or... water lilies. [Yes, that seems better.
He breathes in deeply, savoring the scent of Rayfalke as he remembers it and yet it's different somehow. A lot can change in a thousand years. It doesn't smell like meadows rolling around below anymore, though the flowers that grew here in ancient times are still there-- including the one that inspired Edna's true name.
He sits up after a minute, complaining the whole way. He feels a bit like he's just been beaten senseless. He runs his hand through his bangs... and realizes he still actually has hands. His awareness trickles back in, and he can feel the earth below him as he always has.]
... Pretty convincing afterlife.
no subject
the water lily, though, evokes a soft smile from her. tenacious, invasive, sometimes ornamental? she doesn't know if she'd just been complimented or not.
but this is eizen and he hasn't a mean bone in his body; not her brother, no. ] I'll probably make a good water lily. I can clog all the waters to make sure no boat will ever leave land again. [ where are you going? can't you just stay here, with me? where are you, eizen?
she pushes herself closer to him, hands on his back to help him sit. she contemplates on using a healing arte on him; after all, what harm can casting one bring? it might help to make him feel better. the enchantment, however, dies in her throat as he speaks. ]
Afterlife? [ it takes her another moment to realize what he means. and then she's shaking her head vigorously because what is he even saying? she cups his face with her hands to slowly turn his gaze towards her. ] What are you talking about? You're not dead.
[ the last word ends up as a choked sob as she remembers that they came here with the intention to kill him. had it been zaveid's way, she would've been burying her brother's body, not contemplating on ways how to further heal him.
thank goodness no one ever listens to zaveid. ]
You're not dead, Eizen.
no subject
Even so... he always wished for a thousand more years. Maybe not even a thousand. One more day where he could live with his little sister, and he'd be happy.
But dragons don't get to make wishes and they sure as hell don't get second chances. His blood runs cold when she denies his theory; that roughness in her voice is unmistakable. Edna wouldn't lie to him-- not about this.]
I'm...
[It's too good to be true. Her hands are on him, gentle despite her usual venom. He feels so small in comparison.]
I turned. There's no coming back from that. I looked for a cure. And Zaveid looked— we looked together. How...?
[Now he's the one feeling tears tickling at his throat. His brow knits together and he lowers his head, trying to understand what the hell is happening to him. If he's not dead, then what else could this be? He looks at his hands, still wearing the gloves he put on last. They're a little ripped from some ancient quarrel that history has long forgotten.
He tugs them off. He still has all his fingers-- even that one scar from the time he tried to cut onions. A brief hand to his chest confirms that his amulet is still there, too. He looks at his sister, who has been so very patient with him. A sister he imagines never gave up hope. And even if she had, he wouldn't have blamed her.
But he knows Edna. She wouldn't leave him, not for anything. He frames her face with his hands and prays she doesn't notice his trembling.]
Talk to me. Tell me what I've missed. Tell me whatever you think is important. [He just wants to hear his sister's voice right now. It hasn't reached him in such a long time.]
no subject
there's no other option.
there's no coming back from that. for so long she'd hoped, prayed otherwise, but it dies a little every time she witnessed him thoughtlessly kill other creatures who'd been foolish enough to step foot in the spiritcrest. she'd hoped taking an oath would help him, and she kept on consuming peanuts despite growing weary, even spiteful, of its taste. it died when eizen had come to face them, intent on killing them because he hadn't the space for any other intention. it died when he'd taken the first act by stepping forward and breathing fire on them all.
it felt so surreal. had it been only a few days? it feels like a lifetime ago. ]
Sorey. He's the latest Shepherd. He'd-- he'd thought of using Siegfried on you to try and free you. He didn't know if it's going to work; none of us do. But we have to try something to free you. [ something other than quell him through murder. ] He promised me. [ and thank heavens, thank heavens, for sorey and lailah and mikleo and rose and zaveid.
at his request, she tells him about her journey as a seraph guide to a shepherd. she tells him about sorey and mikleo, how impossibly young and naive they both are. she tells him about rose, her lack of refined traits, her spirit. she tells him about lailah, and how edna willingly became her sub-lord so she can use her power to purify malevolence as well.
she doesn't tell him about zaveid because her brother knows the wind seraph more than edna will ever allow herself to.
after all that, she takes a deep breath. ] We're so close to fighting the Lord of Calamity, Eizen. [ and she thinks, for a moment, that maybe, perhaps, she can beg off from the task. she can't be parted from eizen now. surely sorey will understand, surely there are other earth seraphs who could--
but then she remembers their battle with her brother - how the others are so willing to die for her cause - and cringes at her own selfishness. ] I didn't care much for others, back then. For what fate may fall upon these stupid humans. But now that I know better, I'm going to do whatever I can to help Sorey.
[ she looks up. with her parasol closed she can see the sky overhead. nighttime is closing in. she doesn't know for how long she can keep staying here, when the final fight is right around the corner. ]
I-- I owe him that much.
no subject
He's reserved but attentive as she explains just how she came to journey with a Shepherd. A long time ago that might have been a problem, but it appears the Exorcists and their true purpose has been lost to time. That's... good. He would never stand for seraphim to be tethered again, to lose their names and their purpose beneath a human hand. He'd become a Calamity himself to keep his sister free. It seems Maotelus has done exactly what he set out to do, quelling malevolence through those he's chosen.
History seems to repeat itself, cycles and cycles only seraphim can understand.]
... You've changed. [His hands fall down to her shoulders. He absentmindedly fixes her dress strap.] Not too much, though. [For all the sadness they've endured and the history inflicted on them both, he still finds a smile; it's soft and warm like a patch of grass in the sun.]
You've always been kind. It just took someone else to point it out. [Edna sure as hell wasn't about to admit it herself.]
I can't ever repay you, or them, for bringing me back-- but I'll do whatever I can to help. If that means punching a few hellions, I can do that. [He glances off to the side briefly, remembering something.] But I'm... gonna need a new vessel.
[His coin stopped being relevant about a thousand years ago when he literally ate a Lord of Calamity.]
no subject
edna blinks back tears and she looks down, not wanting him to see it. she's not kind; kind is something reserved for the likes of sorey and mikleo. kind is something you can call lailah, even. she's not kind, certainly not in the face of her inaction during those times all those people and seraphim were eaten in front of her and she didn't lift a finger to help them.
you should know what you're getting into, when you've come to find and face a dragon. this, too, is not my brother's fault.
but then he speaks of going with them and she's glad because it's an option she doesn't even dare bring up. ] Are you sure? It'll definitely be more than just a few hellions. That's just how much malevolence there is. [ eizen should know.
but can it be done? he's been a dragon for so long... ] But... you need more time to recover. I can't have you slowing us down. Not after all I've told them about you.
[ she can't lose him. not again. ]
no subject
He brushes away a stray tear with his thumb. That's what big brothers are for.]
You're traveling with a Shepherd, right? Finding a new vessel shouldn't be impossible.
[He sits back a bit and notices just how sore he is. Granted, he's been passed out for a few days, so that might be part of it. But he also knows the bone-deep exhaustion is part and parcel of having the malevolence literally beaten out of him. He can stay strong for a while, but the question is when not if; the sooner they take care of him, the better.
Edna's right. It's not the first time she's treated him like he's the kid. He runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath, lets it out.]
Don't worry, I won't embarrass you. [As if that's the real danger, here.
His sister's life is in Sorey's hands so long as they have a pact-- that's true. He's not sure there's room for another earth seraph, especially one like him. It might be too much pressure on Sorey after all... and what happens afterward? If something happens to Sorey, that's it. For all of them.
He can't ask a guy he doesn't know to take on that responsibility. Eizen has always taken the rudder in his own hands and that hasn't changed.]
no subject
she goes to her feet, feeling pinpricks tickle her skin as she realizes that she's been sitting for days, almost unmoving in her silent vigil, while waiting for eizen to show any sign of life. and now that he has, well. it feels like she's been renewed as well. like she's also been revived from the brink of death, just like he'd been. ]
I can ask Sorey about being your vessel. [ not that he would refuse it; she knew sorey enough by now that she's almost certain the shepherd himself would offer them this chance. he's been so used with four seraphs residing in him that she's quite confident his body could take one more. ] But you'll have to agree to becoming Lailah's sub-lord, too. I have to tell you now that her puns are something you'll just need to get used to.
[ she wasn't certain if eizen knew the prime lord, but now was a good time to know it. ]
no subject
I can deal with puns. Easy. But I don't want to... make it harder on your friend. [That's what Sorey is, he can tell just by the way Edna talks about him.] I fell to malevolence once. I know it can happen again. It's a lot of pressure on all of you and he doesn't need to do that unless he needs to.
[He knows Edna doesn't want to hear that, but it's a truth they'll both have to acknowledge.]
... You could always purify a rock and put me in it.
[Maybe he's kidding, maybe he's not. It's actually not a bad idea now that he's thinking about it. Just having that vessel inside of a pure domain, a strong domain, would be enough to keep him safe for a while.
But he's a seraph. He has to deal with his own feelings on the matter. That's part of malevolence, too.]
no subject
out of habit, she opens her parasol and twirls it on her shoulder. is it possible that someone purified of malevolence still retain a part of it? what if her brother--
she shakes her head to dismiss the negative thoughts plaguing her mind. ] Sorey's a lot stronger than he seems. [ and yes, edna will not deny that she somewhat considers him a friend. her foolish, idealistic, naively human friend. but eizen's right; if something happens to sorey then all his seraphim would have eventually succumbed to malevolence. and should something go wrong with their fight against heldalf, should they lose against the lord of calamity...
perhaps there's wisdom in doing things differently. perhaps if the worst happens to sorey, eizen may be the one to save her, save all of them, from what they know will befall the seraphim. ] But, you're right. We can choose something else as your vessel.
[ she arches a brow at him. ] A rock? How... boringly expected from an earth seraph, Eizen. I expected better from you.
no subject
I trust you not to put my essence into something stupid. Of course I'll still try to weigh in. If you're going to make it a clay pot, it'd better be something worth my time. If it has artistic or historical significance... [Like that one he sent her way back, except with less hellions inside of it.]
Hey now, it wouldn't be just any rock. Crystals are strong focii for seraphic artes and they're timeless in their value.
no subject
though their loss was not all her fault, actually.
she turns away, mulling over what else could be used as his vessel. something that has artistic or historical significance...] You know I don't care much for things with artistic value, since they're all just a bunch of fancy trinkets to me. But what about--
[ when she faces him again, in her outstretched hand dangles her locket - the one he gave her before he left. ] --this one?
no subject
Then Edna holds out her hand. Eizen sucks in a breath. He knows that locket-- he gave it to her. It was hilarious at the time because she had given him an amulet, too. They were so alike in that moment that she may as well have been flesh and blood. Born from the same rock counted in his mind as much as anything else.]
Edna...
[She offers to carry him with her always, and that... There's no denying how his expression softens at the edges. He's still feeling the elation and the shock at being alive again.
He missed her. He missed this.]
You sure that's okay?
[It isn't that he doesn't trust her-- he trusts her more than anything. But inhabiting the locket also means taking it from her, if not physically. It means they can be together, too.
It's an obvious trade-off, but Edna is entitled to whatever she likes. If she wants him to stay, he will. If she wants him gone, he'll go. He isn't going to deny her wishes this time. Being around people again is strange, but he thinks he can do it.
As long as Edna is all right...]